It's fairly obvious that frogs and goldfish can fly in my imagination.
Seaspiracy
Seaspiracy, a must-see documentary will be available on Netflix starting March 24th. I’m always going on about how badly farmed animals are treated for our consumption. This film shows the evil side of the fishing industry and their treatment of our oceans.
The Essex
I constantly read books. I always have one going. Just finished, In The Heart Of The Sea. It’s about a whaling ship that is sunk by a 40 foot sperm whale in the 1800’s. Then the torturous three month survival of two dozen sailors in three tiny rowboats as they sail thousands of miles under impossible conditions. Herman Melville wrote Moby Dick as a result of hearing about this true life event and actually befriending the captain.
Frankenstein Plant
While dabbling in horticulture, I often wondered if I could create my own unique species of plant. Using very unscientific methods, I chopped up various exotic seeds and then gorilla glued bits and pieces of each into a single super seed. No one thought this could possibly germinate, especially me. Lo and behold it actually worked. Now I grow these in a big terrarium in my hallway closet. Damn things don’t even need sunlight.
Botanical Illustration
The Royal Horticultural Society and the American Horticultural Society want to acknowledge me. Although I’m most well-known for my expertise in zoology and macrame, little is written about my contributions to the world of plants. I discovered this specimen while trespassing in the DMZ along the North Korean border in 2009. I was pleasantly surprised when this plant was named after me. The least I could do was make my own botanical drawing of this exotic beauty.
Zebra
After my last Instagram post, my press agent has been fielding a ton of inquiries. The media seems to be positioning me to become the next Sir Richard Attenborough. Apparently, the BBC is interested in doing a nature series with me called, Planet Birdbrain. My discovery of colorful striped zebras in the northern part of Oregon might make for a good first episode. Kane’s Yarn Theory is sure to be Must See TV.
Muskox
Because of my vast animal knowledge, I’m often asked to write papers for the Audobon Society and National Geographic. Some of my findings are so game changing that I occasionally turn the world of zoology on its head. Take for instance my discovery of a certain type of muskox that is able to grow an actual sweater out of its own hair and fur. When the weather begins to warm, they shed the sweater. Researchers looking for fossil remains in the artic were confused at finding so many sweaters thawing in the ice. I’m happy to have solved their mystery.
Orthus
Orthus, in Greek mythology, was a two-headed guard dog. Most people don’t know Zeus was a great cook. He was the first to make stuffed grape leaves. I may give a Ted Talk on Greek mythology.
Costco Chicken Torture
I went to a Costco once. Buying 40 rolls of paper towels and 5-gallon jars of pickles was not for me. You may have heard this week about how badly chickens are treated at their poultry plants in order to sell their customers the famous Costco $4.99 rotisserie chicken. Mercy for Animals snuck someone in undercover to work there. The horrid conditions they documented included, chickens struggling to walk under their own unnatural weight. Bodies burned bare from ammonia-laden litter. Dead days-old chicks. Piles of rotting birds. Living on their own feces, with no fresh air and no natural light. When you have to pump out 100 million of these a year, you tend to cut corners. But hey, what’s a little torture if you can get a really cheap chicken dinner. Just don’t read any of the news stories about it and you’ll be fine.
Red Antlered Moose
The red antlered moose is very rare to spot, especially in Brooklyn. They like to hang out near lighthouses. I’m surprised National Geo never writes about them. For nonbelievers, there is a Red Antler Pale Ale which adds credence to my post. City folk learn a lot about nature following me on Instagram.
Podcast
There is a podcast called Thumbnail, hosted by artists, Lewis Rosignol and Joe Rosshirt. Thumbnail is a term that describes small sketches done quickly to show ideas. Their most recent podcast is with me. If listening to the ramblings of an inarticulate fool is your cup of tea, then you should give a listen. If you don’t want to hear me that’s understandable. Their other episodes are about trying to make a living as an illustrator. They get into subjects like promotion, dealing with clients, how much to charge people, how to find freelance assignments, affording a studio, and other stressful topics related to being an artist type. You could bypass my episode and listen to some others. Several episodes discuss how to transition from art college to starting out making a living as an artist. So, if you know any young artists starting out, they might be interested in some episodes.
WTF
Sometimes when I draw, I don’t know what I’m doing. Take this one for instance. I began doodling and after a while this appeared on my sketchbook page. Not sure how the hell I got there. I just went along for the ride.
Italy
For my seventh Vircation Drawing I arrived in Boccadasse, Italy. I’m visually fascinated with these towns whose buildings seem like lava flowing into the ocean. At first glance, you wonder if eventually everything will finally slide into the sea and be swallowed up. The different earth color tones are pulled together by the structures all having the same green colored shudders. Not only a paradise to visit but a paradise for the eyes too.
